Where the Hell am I?

After being here nearly a year, I’m proud to say I’ve never gotten on the (completely) wrong train, nor have I ever missed my intended station. Yes; I have boarded locals that I thought were rapids, and I did once buy tickets for a 7am bullet train when I meant to get them for 7pm. But for the most part, I think I do pretty well navigating the train system.

It’s when I get off the train that I start to have problems. If the numbering system in Japan seems arbitrary: it’s because it basically is. Cities are broken down into wards, wards into neighborhoods, and then numbers are assigned more for when the building was built than where it is on the street. And speaking of streets, good luck finding one with a name. In Tokyo, there’s a street supposedly named “Meiji-dori” that runs parallel to the train tracks from Shibuya through Harajuku to Shinjuku. It’s on the tourist maps and even on some of the posted maps around the stations, but asking someone at the combini “which way is Meiji-dori” pretty much only gets a blank stare. This is the case in many big cities that purportedly have a named street. But I suppose it’s just as well to not name streets since they seem to twist, turn, merge, and end with no warning.

So what’s a foreigner in Japan to do? My first suggestion is to take a deep breath and accept that Japan is hard to navigate and no map or even good sense of direction will make it easy.

Did you do that? Okay.

Next, never attempt to just try and find a place. This includes trying to find a place with a Lonely Planet guidebook map. LPs maps are pretty much crap; they really only give you a sense of the general area you should go. Also, downtown areas in Japan have a tendency of looking all the same, even having the same stores! I was meeting some friends in Shinjuku, and the directions they gave me were “Down the street from Isetan and OIOI” but I was one block over: where there was also an Isetan and OIOI!

Which is another thing to remember: don’t split up with friends, unless you’re both absolutely sure where you’ll met up again. Even within department stores, it can be a bad idea to split up since escalators have a tendency of not being close together from floor to floor.

Now, since I just told you to never try to just find a place, this means you have to ask for directions. Utilize information booths in large stations, they are your friends! They might speak English and even if they don’t, they’ll probably have an English information brochure and maybe even an English language map. They also can tell you if the place your looking for has closed up shop (this seems to happen a lot with no warning). Make sure to ask which station exit to use since many stations have gates at the exits and therefore make it hard to pass through if you exit on the wrong side.

If you’re not near an info booth, a combini might be your next best bet. If you have the address of the place you’re looking for, they should have a map of the area handy. It’s important to ask what is around your destination. Don’t just ask what next to it, ask what’s across the street, cady-corner, and what’s just past it so you know if you went too far.

Now when you’re on your way, with your map and directions, keep you eyes peeled! Do not underestimate how “tucked away” the place you’re looking for may be. I’ve been to many-a-places with a tiny sign about 3 feet high as it’s only indication that it exists. If you’re in a major downtown area where the buildings have long vertical signs telling you what shops are there, remember they’re not necessarily in order. I once went to a restaurant where the sign for it was the 4th one up. This would indicate to me that it was on the 4th floor, but it was actually in the basement!

Get a map, find a buddy, get clear directions and be very aware and you might find your destination! Maybe.

I actually wrote this whole post because I wanted to share a link. It’s a website called “多摩地区そして日本各地の画像集” which Babelfish translates into “Picture collection of Tama area and every place in Japan“. If you’re going to a town for the first time, you can look here and get a little familair with the place. Note: You do need to know the kanji of whatever town you’re looking for for this site.

Your life in two suitcases or less

First off, congratulations to those of you short listed for the 2008 JET Programme, (and to alternates, also. Hang in there, I was an alternate too!)

This post probably isn’t necessary to put up for another month or two, but many of you are itching to know what to take, I’m sure. Every year, hundreds of new JETs make tough decisions about what to bring, maybe shed a few tears, but will invariable bring stuff they may find they’ll never use. This list is to help you make those tough decisions, and hopefully give you a lighter bag to carry around Tokyo (at the height of summer, mind you) and eventually to your placement.

The almighty piece of paper, part ni

Last time, I covered the first unspoken rule of paper in Japan (never throw any piece of paper you get in Japan away). This second rule is also unspoken and is possibly more important that the first

2. If it’s an ALTs word against a piece of paper, paper trumps ALT, always.

It really doesn’t matter how unofficial the piece of paper is. It could be something drunkenly scrawled on a napkin, but if the ALT says something that contradicts what’s written on a piece of paper, by God, that piece of paper will win. This isn’t a hard tested theory yet, but I am constantly collecting proof that ALT < piece of paper.

The almighty piece of paper, part ichi

If you know me at all, then you know my favorite TV show is “The Office”, a mockumentary about the struggles of a paper company in Pennsylvania trying to keep afloat in an increasingly paperless world. My solution for Dunder-Mifflin’s woes are simple; move to Japan.

Japan loves paper, be it tiny bags to individually wrap every little cellphone charm you purchase at a depaato, or tickets from a machine because even at the post office you have to take a number, or just the massive number of pamplets and handouts you will get at JET orientation and subsequent conferences, paper is still king in Japan.

And since paper is king, there are two important rules to remember about it. Today we’ll cover rule one:

1. You must never throw away any piece of paper you ever get, ever.

I had forgotten all the times my Japanese professor in college who would randomly ask us to pull out worksheets that she gave us maybe 2 semesters ago, but when I arrived in Japan, I quickly remembered this unspoken rule. When I arrived at my BOE in August, they had me sign my contract, fill out my gaijin card form and gave me a few random things, one of them being my electric bill. The next week, my supervisor was going to take me to a shopping center to get me a cell phone, so I arrived at the BOE, and the following conversation occured:

Supervisor (roughly translated from Japanese): Do you have your electric bill?

Me: Um, was I suppose to have it?

Supervisor: Since it a piece of paper that you received from a Japanese person, you must be able to randomly produce it at any given time.

Me: Oh, sorry, I’m still new here, you know.

Supervisor: Daijoubu, but seriously, where’s your electric bill, it’s imperative to have it before we go get your cellphone. I can’t tell you why, it just is.

Me: I think it’s at my house. Can I bring it Monday?

Supervisor: I have a better idea, we’ll drive to your house and wait outside while you desperately search for it.

Me: Okay desu.

A couple weeks after that my supervisor came to my school one day and I had this encounter:

Supervisor: Rooren, Hello

Me: S’up, supe

Supervisor: All JETs must sign this Accident Insurance paper, from this pamplet [shows pamplet I don't remember ever getting]

Me: [swinks eyes and tries to remember] Uh, yeah, I might have that.

Supervisor: ‘Might have it’?

Me: Yeah, I mean, it’s probably at my house with the small library of info I received at the JET orientation.

Supervisor: So . . . you don’t have it with you?

Me: Nope

Supervisor: You didn’t wake up this morning and just know that I would stop by and ask for this piece of paper so maybe you should bring it with you to school today?

Me: Well, you know I’m not Japanese . . . or clairvoyant.

Supervisor: No, I suppose you’re not.

Today’s lesson: Take that piece with of paper with both hands, bow, and make sure it never leaves your person for the length of your stay in Japan.

The Interview

The fact that I passed the application stage of the 2007 JET Programme was quite an accomplishment for me because that meant I was a step further than I was the previous year.

But it also caused me plenty of new stress. Now I actually had to met them face to face and show them why they should pick me. Now I knew that if I was rejected after this point, it would be because of me, not because of some piece of paper.

I received my interview notification on Jan. 25th that I would be interviewing in Denver on Feb. 20th. Of course the nerves didn’t really hit until the day of, and my mind was racing on the drive down to Denver and later in the office.

The Panel

The JET interview was panel style. My panel broke down like this.

• First there’s someone who works for the Consulate. In some cases it might be your future JET Coordinator. Mine was a Japanese woman who I believe was playing the role of ‘bad cop’; she kind of glared at me the whole time, and never smiled.
• Next there a JET Alum. The one on my panel was a former CIR who actually went to my university. She was being the ‘good cop’; acting friendly, smiling, and telling me it was okay when I stumbled on a question.
• Last was a member of the local Japanese community. His role seemed to be ‘no talking cop’. He smiled at a couple of my answers, but stayed relatively quiet.

The Interview

After the panel members introduced themselves, they started to ask me questions. They each had a copy of my application in front of them, and as near as I could tell a list of questions. All the questions I was asked are out there on message boards like IThinkImLost.com, so none of the questions really surpised me.

The JET Journey

There are any number of people on the JET Programme who apply during their senior year of college, are granted interviews with no problem, and receive the good news in April that they will be heading to the Land of the Rising Sun 3 months after their graduation.

This was sadly not my story.

In 2005 I was in my final year as a Fine Arts Major/Japanese minor in Colorado. I, along with several of my Japanese classmates, sent in my application for the JET Programme at the end of November. Frankly, I assumed I was a shoe-in; good grades, reasonably involved in school, very involved in the Japanese Program, they had to want me, right?

Wrong, in January of 2006 I received a brief email informing me that I was not granted an interview. My journey to be part of JET 2006 was done. It was frustrating as hell to watch several of my classmates go on to the interviews, to tell them I was happy for them when really I was angry that it wasn’t me. More than a few tears were shed. The dreaded “What are your plans after college” question was answered with an “I don’t know.” My final semester flew by, my graduation came and went, and in July I bid farewell to a few of my good friends as I watched them go off to Japan without me.

In August, 2006, school started up and for the first time since I was 4 years old I wasn’t a “student”. A bit of a quarter-life-crisis set in as I applied for a few jobs, but I didn’t really pursue anything seriously. I helped my dad move to Canada, tried to help out my mother and grandfather, mostly I ended up hanging out with college buddies playing video games and watching movies. After I didn’t get an interview, I didn’t want anything to do with the JET Programme, but I had relaxed my stance over the months and determined that if application time rolled around and I wasn’t gainfully employed, I would apply once again.

Before I knew it, it was late October, I turned 24, and the only bright spot in my employment search was one call back from Barnes and Noble. That pesky JET Programme application came online, promising to whisk me away to Japan, make me a multi-millionaire (in yen, that is), and give me an experience few people have the chance to have. All I had to do was subject myself to the complicated, time-consuming, at-least-6-month-long application process once again.

It was a bit of deja-vu to apply again. I asked for letters of recommendation from the same two people who wrote them for me the previous year. Other than a few tweaked sentances, I sent in the same Statement of Purpose essay. I even mailed my application from the same Kinkos-FedEx location. To be honest, I was almost testing JET, to see if practically the same app. that didn’t get me an interview last year would get me in this year, so I could prove how random the whole process is!

In January, 2007, the interview announcements were out. Apparently adding the word “internationalization” to my SoP and listing my recent trip to Toronto, Canada as “inter-cultural experience” worked because I landed an interview. A few weeks later, I went before a panel at the Denver Japanese Consulate and had what I’d call an okay interview. I was nervous beyond belief (even though a lot of people told me I was pretty calm) and I completely bombed one question, but I wasn’t crying or anything.

Another six weeks passed (Everything JET does is roughly measured in 6 weeks increments) and I received my email from the Consulate in early April. With my mom holding my hand, I opened it up to read this:

It is our great pleasure to inform you that you have successfully passed the 2nd stage of the screening process for the 2007 JET Program and have been selected as an alternate Assistant Language Teacher.

What?! Alternate? What.the.eff? Even more egregious was the email saying that I could be upgraded as late as October. Much like the previous year, everyone I knew that applied was shortlisted (i.e. they were in) and I was put in a position that was in some ways worst than simply being rejected. I tried to remain positive, a good percentage of JET alternates are eventually upgraded, but whenever I thought of JET, it depressed me. What did I do this time, why am I not freakin’ good enough for this program? My former classmates made their preparations as April ended, and then May. No word from JET.

In mid-June, my mom and I were driving to Estas Park when I started to cry, talking about how depressed the JET situation was making me. She told me she didn’t want me to go, and I said that that was it, I wasn’t going to wait around for the JET program anymore. So that was that, no more JET.

That same day we went to this Native American shop where this woman a few years older than me was working. We got to talking and it turned out she had been working and living in Japan for the last 5 years, married a Japanese man and had a super adorable son (who just happened to have the same name as this guy from my Japanese class that I had had a terrible crush on). I didn’t want to think too much of it, but it sure felt like one of those classic “signs”.

That happened on a Friday, the following Tuesday, I was mowing the lawn when my mom came out to tell me a Denver number was calling my cell. A moment later the home phone rang; it was the JET coordinator calling to ask if I was still interesting in being on the JET program. “I think so,” was all I could manage.

And that was it, 20 months after my first application to JET, I was finally heading to Japan. Now the fun would truly begin.